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Kids say the dardest things

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If
anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice
from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting
away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and
spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Can people predict the future with cards? My mother can. Really? Yes, she takes one look at my
report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read,
"The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city,
but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What
happened to the flea?"

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her
mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some
e-mail. AMEN."

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was
staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on
either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque
for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and
said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
"Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still
focused on the plaque. "Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women
who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which one, the
9:00 or the 10:30 service?